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My name is Peter, I just discovered that the the girl I trust and love so much has been cheating on me. She is 23 and I'm We plan to get married after she's done with her NYSC. I'm a sailor and my kind of work takes me away from home for as long as two months.

I try my best to provide everything she wants and also contribute to her education.

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Though we don't reside in the same state, our parents know each other well. My girlfriend and my younger sister are very close, they live with each other in the meantime because my sister is currently doing her industrial attachment around the area my girlfriend resides in.

I got to know my girlfriend was cheating through my little sister after forcing her to talk because I started to become suspicious of her. She told me the girl I love is in love with another guy who has even taken her to see his mum. My sister also said my girlfriend rarely sleeps at home and the guy sleeps over sometimes at her place. To confirm my sister's story, I confronted my girlfriend. She lied at first but when she realised I was serious, she confirmed it. She has been begging for forgiveness and asking mutual friends to plead on her behalf.

girlfriend gave me second chance

She says she still loves and can't live without me. I still love her but the problem is I no longer trust her and my line of job doesn't need such a woman as a wife.

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But most of my friends say I should give her s a second chance. Please Bukky, should I let her go or give her another chance? I'm confused on what to do. Long-distance relationships are hard to maintain which means both people have to work hard in making this kind of relationship very successful. Communication is key here.

How do you communicate when you are far away from each other? It's not just about giving her all she wants physically, sometimes love isn't just enough. Do you really understand each other like you ought to? Were you giving her all the attention she needed?

Broken trust is hard to replace, but you should ask yourself if you love enough to take her back. If you are willing to accept her, you both should have a lengthy discussion on what caused her to cheat, the way forward in your relationship and ways to make your relationship better.

If you decide to move on without her, inform her of your decision and be honest about your reasons. Do you want to talk about your love life, marriage or family? Send a mail to relationships pulse. Don't be left out, stay updated on relationship tips and advice. By clicking again you agree to our Privacy Policy and European users agree to data transfer policy. My girlfriend has been begging for forgiveness and asking mutual friends to plead on her behalf, she says she still loves and can't live without me.

Hi Bukky, My name is Peter, I just discovered that the the girl I trust and love so much has been cheating on me.He wants to be a boyfriend. Your boyfriend. You honestly believe that your relationship will last a lifetime. Remember how hard it was to get over him?

So only take him back if you truly believe that this time will be different. You need to accept what happened and move on. You see him for what he is. That he has flaws. But you still want to be with him. You still love him as much as you did when you first met him.

You actually believe his apologies. That he wants to make it up to you. You would rather be with him than with any other boy. And you would rather be with him than be single.

"My girlfriend wants a second chance after cheating on me, what do I do?"

A better person. Was it his constant drinking? His fear of commitment? His friendship with an ex? You want the same things. Your brain and your heart are in total agreement. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.He may then resort to begging and pleading and trying to convince her to change her mind by over-texting her. Please give our relationship one more chance.

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I promise you that this time things will be different. I beg you.

How to Get My Girlfriend to Give Me a Second Chance

You mean everything to me. Please just give me another chance. We can make this work. As you may know if you made the kind of mistake with her or with another woman in the pastbegging, pleading and asking for a relationship via text, only makes a woman close herself off to you even more.

Yes, we had some problems in our relationship, but I also accept that what we had was special enough not to give up on it. On the call, you need to make her smile, laugh and feel good to be talking to you again and then invite her out for a catch up to say hi just as friends.

I accept the break up. We can get together for a cup of coffee and to say hi to each other as friends, with no strings attached. So, how about we get a cup of coffee together tomorrow afternoon and say hi for about 10 minutes?

My cheating ex wants a second chance?

Just as friends of course. Just focus on rebuilding her feelings for you, so she actually has a reason to want to give you another chance. The process of getting her back becomes a lot easier, because she starts enjoying being around you and interacting with you again. She has a reason to get back with you i. On the other hand, if you continue to make the old communication mistakes you made before e.

Please accept it. So, make sure that you are ready to properly re-attract her and reactivate her feelings when you see her in person. When getting an ex back, what counts the most is her feelings for you, not your feelings for her.

Instead, focus on making her have strong feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you again and she will naturally want to give the relationship another try.

You are right to feel that way. By saying something like that to her, it shows her that he understands where he went wrong in the relationship with her and accepts her feelings on the matter. To test him, she might arrive at their meet up wearing something that she knows would have provoked him in the past e. I have guys lining up to get a date with me these days. Why should I give all that up for you?The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown.

What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. My girlfriend of a year just confessed that she was cheating on me. I got suspicious after noticing that she was getting random texts at all hours. She denied that anything was going on at first, but I guess she got tired of lying, because she came clean like a week ago. I immediately told her it was over. She even sent me flowers at work. I still have a lot of love for her, and I want to believe we can work this out.

Should I try and keep our relationship going? Do not take her back. Just say no. No matter how much she cries. No matter how much she brings up your shared past together. Turn her away. She had her chance. She blew it. Sorry if that sounds a little blunt and merciless because it is. I am very, very against taking someone back after an affair. Maybe if you have kids together — stay together for the kids.

But you have, what, a social media presence together? I know you want to. You have this whole shared past together that you remember rosily. That first awkward candle-lit dinner, for which you picked out three different outfits, none of which satisfied you. That walk back to her apartment, where every one of your nerves was firing wildly. But what you need to know is that the magic fun-time happy-land you shared together no longer exists.

One of the things that happens, as a relationship proceeds, is that your myths about the other person are dispelled, one by one. Sometimes that process goes well, and sometimes it goes poorly. It has nothing to do with the reality of human behavior whatsoever.

But it always takes a lot of decisions to get to that point, to that dangerous situation. And every one of those choices brought her closer to a certain precipice. Of course there are women in your life who tempt you. There are people in your orbit who you could have an affair with, if you wanted to.

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You could engineer that situation. Good for you. You are behaving correctly.The tricky part is that it all depends. It depends on your situation, relationship dynamics, and a million other factors that are unique to only you. However, there are some second chance ground rules that are helpful to follow, no matter what your situation.

I am a relationship expert and life coach and with a background in Counseling Psychology, and I've witnessed numerous couples staying together and giving each other second, third, and even fourth chances. Instead of working on their issues and not letting them happen again, they unfortunately continue on unhealthy behaviors and patterns.

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It's shouldn't be enough to stay with someone just because you "love" each other. There has to be more than love. Sure, it's one of the most important factors in a relationship, but let's not forget about trust, loyalty and respect. If love is all that is keeping you two together, but you don't have those other aspects, it's not worth giving your partner another shot. If you two have a strong foundation that makes for a happy and healthy relationship, then a second chance may be something you want to consider.

Deciding whether or not to offer a second chance to your partner truly depends on what he or she did to get in this position in the first place. No judgements here; if you feel whatever he or she did wasn't serious enough to ruin the foundation of your relationship, it's worth taking the time to think about it. There are some offenses that ruin a relationship and there's no turning back. But then there are other things that a couple can move past.

If you feel you are the latter, then by all means do what makes your heart and head happy. In order to know whether or not you should give your significant other another chance, you need to go off his or her actions. Words are nice, but honestly, sometimes they are meaningless. If your partner is saying he or she will change, but there is no action showing any proof of this, why should you trust it? It's OK to give your other half another shot with you if you feel he or she is showing you with great effort that he or she deserves it.

Giving your partner a second chance means hoping that whatever happened in the first place doesn't happen again, but old patterns and behaviors don't just stop. You two both have to actively work on changing the dynamic. If both of you are committed to making things work, and going to therapy doesn't make you want to jump out the window, you've got another shot at this thing called love.

If someone does something wrong, how do we know they aren't going to do it again? Usually they don't because they learned a lesson. If your partner has learned from whatever he or she did to you, and now knows how to make things right, it's OK to consider a second chance. If you feel like he or she doesn't understand the repercussions of his or her actions, then nothing has been learned at all — and sadly, nothing will change.So your significant other messed up — like, big time.

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Here you are, left with a moral conflict to work through seemingly alone and no idea of how to begin to address this issue. You never thought he'd cheat, you never expected her to betray your trust, but people make mistakes. You yourself have made your fair share in past romantic relationships. Can you forgive your partner, or should you walk away from the relationship?

girlfriend gave me second chance

Resolving conflict is not always as easy as forgive and forget. There are emotions involved, feelings of guilt and betrayal, and love to be repaired from the ground up. To aide you through the trials of determining whether you should give your partner a second chance, I consulted with relationship expert and author April Masinias well as couples coach and author of Blueprint for a Lasting Marriage: How to Create Your Happily Ever After with More Intention, Less Work, Leslie Doares.

Here are the times it's mentally and physically OK to try to again, and the times you shouldn't even think about giving your partner a second chance. If you and your partner can agree there is a deeper issue to be resolved and you're both willing to work it out, that's the best foundation for cutting through your problems.

Even if the desire to work through it is mutual, feelings of mistrust or doubt may be present in the partner who was betrayed. To get past this, Masini suggests, "When you have an idea about your partner that is keeping you from trusting them or forgiving them, and you want to move past this, dig deeper.

Talk to your partner and ask them to help you get past this. Try to understand the history of how they got to the behavior that brought you to this place — beyond what you think you know. Infidelity is not and does not have to always be the end-all, be-all of a relationship.

This often happens because a couple is overwhelmed, sloppy or upset about some derivative issue. These are all issues to be addressed, not ignored," Masini explains. There are underlying issues where cheating is involved, and in order to move past it, both partners should agree to be honest and forthright in resolving these problems.

According to Doares, "Steps to healing involve gaining a true understanding of what the problematic behavior was and the extent of the damage it caused. Giving a clean and sincere apology with no excuses or reasons is essential.

It is also important for the offended partner to be able to talk about the impact of the behavior and how it hurt them.If you've never been cheated on, it's easy to say you would immediately dump your partner if she was unfaithful.

But in reality, things are not always that black and white. And while infidelity destroys many relationships, some couples are able to overcome it. If you are in a similar situation or know someone who is, take note:. Maybe that's becasue she can't ever be trusted again.

girlfriend gave me second chance

And maybe it's becasue you can't forgive her. Either way, it spells doom for the relationship. You'll always be second guessing her, wondering if she's really where she said she was going, wondering if she's secretly meeting him and even if you're certain the other guy is forever out of the picture, the next guy that starts work in her office or that she meets will start these fears all over again.

If she cared for you, really cared She would have done anything in her power not to hurt you. Bottom line" As much as you think you like her, she's not the one. She is the one who will hurt you again, sooner or later but she's not the one for you. See Answer. Do you think it's possible for a couple to overcome infidelity? Do you believe in second chances? Join the conversation. Search AskMen Search. Messages You have no messages.

Notifications You have no notifications. AskMen Editors. If so, did it turn out well? Please share your thoughts from experience. The simple fact is Cheating hurts immensely. People who do it are selfish. Never ever give a girl after she cheated on you a second chance! Because not just did you lose her respect but you also made her a spoiled girl thinking she can get away with everything now.

And every time i begged for her to come back to me She didn't even had to say sorry. You know what happened? I lost my self-respect. I asked myself what am i doing?